Buddhism

I am currently training for Ordination into the Triratna Buddhist Order and Community. Here is a collection of experiences, reflections, and discoveries along this rewarding and challenging path.

Why Buddhism? You can learn more about the history of my Going for Refuge here.

Brahma Viharas for Activists

A couple of years ago I wrote about the Brahma Viharas (aka the Four Divine Abodes, aka the Four Immeasurables) and their Near Enemies. If you’ve never heard of these concepts, I highly recommend that post as a more thorough introduction and overview of what they’re all about. If you’re already somewhat familiar with them,…

If your heart is breaking, I hope it’s breaking OPEN

A friend-of-a-friend sent this to a friend of mine (Ashley!), who sent this to me, and now I send it to you, and maybe you’ll send it on again, and we’ll all Keep Going: What a beautiful example of Lovingkindness, and Compassion, and Mudita, aka JOY! And of transferring merits, don’t they show so vulnerably…

Like Rechungpa, I have a lot to learn

Apparently I need to read this book, ha: Rechungpa is a promising disciple, but he has a lot to learn, being sometimes proud, distracted, anxious, desirous of comfort and praise, over-attached to book learning, stubborn, sulky and liable to go to extremes.Source

Lauren Ruth Ward channels some serious Vajrapani energy

I’ve been studying up on Vajrapani, wielder of the thunderbolt, protector from fear of unknown places. He’s got a wrathful side. Look at his mudra! \m/ He’s ready to burn it all down; all the delusion and hatred, that is. Lauren Ruth Ward channels this energy perfectly in this Jam in the Van performance: Even…

Calling on Akshobya: a Puja for people experiencing anger

As someone who experiences anger and indignation quite strongly, I’ve been digging around for Buddhist approaches to handling these challenging emotions. Of all the Buddhas in Triratna’s mandala, it seems that Akshobya is the appropriate one to call upon at such times… though I can’t think of a time when Imperturbability or Mirror-like Wisdom would…

Generosity and the giving of time: a talk for Buddhist Action Month

As part of our Buddhist Action Month series on Generosity, this week I gave this talk on Generosity and the giving of time. The official description from the Auckland Buddhist Centre’s website is below (thanks Mary Anna for writing these up!)… but it actually ended up shifting into something a bit more esoteric once I…

For Nothing is Fixed: podcast and poems

“Fixed” as in: permanent / unmoving / unchanging; “Fixed” as in: repaired, made whole. On this theme I present this timely and provocative conversation between Viveka and Paramananda. So much of what Viveka says (and not just in this podcast!) resonates with my experience, in particular: Just because we’re physically together doesn’t mean we’re vibing…

Both / And: on the experience of existing as woman of color in the Triratna Buddhist movement

The world today is very different from that in which Buddhism originated and flourished… The challenge Buddhists face today is to find ways of communicating and practising the Dharma that are truly effective in these new circumstances. The situation seems to call for renewal in the Buddhist world, faithful to the Buddha’s own teaching, yet…

Reflections on Death and Impermanence: a talk for the Four Reminders series

Last Monday for the Auckland Buddhist Centre’s online Dharma Night I gave this talk, Reflecting on death and impermanence, as part of our series on the Four Reminders. Here’s the official description from the Auckland Buddhist Centre’s website (with thanks Mary Anna for writing these up): At this time we are facing dramatic and unexpected…

On the possibility of integrating past identities

I’ve been thinking about the difference between trying to let go of past identities I’ve held dear, vs somehow integrating them. An example of a past identity: throughout my high school and college years I obsessed about becoming a climbing bum, and then spent another several years attempting to live out that dream in Yosemite…

Opening the doors of the heart – a beautiful talk on kindness from Mary Grace Orr

It’s now been ten years since I attended my first Buddhist meditation retreat. The topic of the six-day retreat at Spirit Rock Meditation Center was Opening the Doors of the Heart, and we spent the majority of that time in glorious silence, whether sitting on our cushions, walking mindfully through the Fall-crispy-grass on the hills,…

the water it moved / yeah it moved me

I’ve experienced a particular magic that is very difficult to describe, and it happened to me regularly while surfing this spot at sunset, on days when there was just enough haze in the atmosphere to blend the pastel colors of sea and sky seamlessly into one another to such an extent that distinctions themselves felt…

A yoga sequence to cultivate compassion from Chelsea Jackson Roberts

I found this lovely heart-opening yoga sequence several months ago while putting together a class on the Heart Chakra: Since then, I’ve incorporated it into just about every class I teach, and it’s become my go-to movement practice… so I figured it was about time I shared the love! It’s quite accessible in that it is easy…

Using the Brahma Viharas to work with their near enemies

I recently spent 8 days at a retreat on the topic of the Brahma Viharas (also known as the Four Divine Abodes, or the Four Immeasurables in Buddhism), which are: Metta = Loving Kindness / Goodwill; Karuna = Compassion (…arises when we meet suffering with metta); Mudita = Joy (…arises when we meet happiness, good…

Mary Oliver’s poem The Summer Day + the four reminders

Here’s another attempt to paraphrase the four reminders, aka the four mind-turning Reflections, into my own words: It’s a pretty unique and awesome thing to be born a human being; We don’t live forever; What we think and do affects our experience; and No matter how hard we try, we’re going to experience suffering in…

Four reminders in two songs

As I get deeper into my Buddhist studies, I’m increasingly seeing things through the lens of its teachings. While I have no interest in claiming anything as “Buddhist” when I notice resonance, I do feel a bit like the proverbial little boy who, when given a hammer, starts to see everything as a nail! Consider…

The gold In the Distance: a review of Hernan Diaz’s book

A chance wander through a museum exhibit on British Columbia’s gold rush several years ago sparked my curiosity in California’s own gold rush in a way 4th grade history class (not to mention decades of living in that state) never managed to do; over the next several months I visited a number of gold rush sites, reading…

My personality throughout my existences (and a new guide to business financing!)

A ritual often performed at the Auckland Buddhist Centre includes the following lines: My personality throughout my existences… I give up without regard to myself For the benefit of all beings. I’ve been thinking about my various existences because the company I work for just published a really useful resource, A guide to financing your…

Choosing to walk my own path: the beginning

I keep thinking about the months of January through June of 1998. I struggle with how to label this period, because to say something like “this was a massively influential time for me” or “it was the most pivotal inflection point of my life” feels like an understatement. Looking back, I genuinely believe that choosing…

The power of commitment

One of my Buddhist teachers, Guyhasiddhi, shared this quote in a class a few weeks ago: Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment…

The Well of Grief, a poem by David Whyte

Every time a crack appears in the dam that keeps my sea of grief at bay, I am reminded of this David Whyte poem: The Well of Grief David Whyte Those who will not slip beneath the still surface on the well of grief, turning down through its black water to the place we cannot…

Every weekend can be a three-day weekend: my journey to a four-day work week

As of this week, I officially work Tuesdays through Fridays. Standard eight-hour days, but only four of them. Every weekend is now a three-day weekend, and I am thrilled! This wasn’t a decision that I took lightly, and the process revealed a few surprises. It took several months from the time I started thinking about…

If the Buddha wrote a bio

You might have seen these books: If the Buddha Dated, If the Buddha Married? I loved the section in If the Buddha Dated on writing a dating profile that might attract an appropriate mate. Author Charlotte Kasl takes the reader through the various versions that you might write, starting with one that’s basically a laundry list…

Aimless Love: a poem by Billy Collins

Aimless Love by Billy Collins This morning as I walked along the lake shore, I fell in love with a wren and later in the day with a mouse the cat had dropped under the dining room table. In the shadows of an autumn evening, I fell for a seamstress still at her machine in…

The Journey: a poem by Mary Oliver

Here is a poem that Spring Washam included in her 2017 book, A Fierce Heart: Finding Strength, Courage, And Wisdom in Any Moment. I love how it dovetails with William Stafford’s The Way It Is: The Journey by Mary Oliver One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices…

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters: a poem by Portia Nelson

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson Chapter I I walk down the street.             There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.             I fall in.             I am lost … I am helpless.        …

Focus on Five – a system for practicing a more balanced, contented life

You’ve probably seen at least one version of this advice floating around the internet: “Three Hobbies” has always bothered me, for two reasons. The first is that for those of us running our own businesses, the distinction between a hobby and a business is super important. If you want to write off your business expenses…

The Way It Is: a poem by William Stafford

The Way It Is by William Stafford There’s a thread you follow. It goes among things that change. But it doesn’t change. People wonder about what you are pursuing. You have to explain about the thread. But it is hard for others to see. While you hold it you can’t get lost. Tragedies happen; people…